In May 2010, my three sisters, with whom I’m very close, and my brother-in-law Chris urged me to try someone new. When I demurred, they insisted on buying me a date at a local bachelor auction for charity. At first, I protested, but eventually I gave in. And once I looked through the online profiles of the men up for grabs, I admitted that a civil engineer named Dwayne looked pretty dreamy. Plus, his bio mentioned that he coached Little League baseball. I love k**s.Dwayne: I had never participated in a date auction before. I only agreed because it was for a good cause—the proceeds were going to breast cancer research.Abigail: The auction was held at a live-music venue in downtown Austin. When Dwayne came onstage, five other women raised their paddles and started bidding on him, too. My eldest sister, Amanda, 34, can be a little competitive. (Plus, she had had a few drinks.) She was determined to win Dwayne for me at all costs. And she did—for $600.Dwayne: The lights were so bright. ’ ____Not so drunk, after all. Or at least, not quite drunk enough. ____’The Malaysia trip fell through.’ ____His explanation hardly satisfied his ostensibly inebriated wife. ‘Just what the hell are you doing here, anyway? Home early, grocery shopping, and running the grill, for Cheri’s date?’ Felicia’s mouth suddenly formed the shape of an ‘o,’ and her eyes filled with maternally fueled rage. ‘Who’s coming here tonight to see my daughter? You’re bringing a customer here? For Cheri?’ ____’Now hold on! It’s not like that at all!’ ____’My daughter is not an office accessory, asshole!’ ____’Calm down and listen!’ ____’Don’t tell me to calm down, pig!’ She tried to rise out of the steamer chair, tripped over it, and sprawled across the deck. ‘Shit!’ ____He tried to help her up. ____’Let go of me!’ she yelled, shaking him off, and staggered onto her feet. ____Meghan, in the pool, witnessed the entire sordid scene and barely reacted. Meghan knew that she had perverts for parents and a slut.
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